Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs
Identify and Overcome Limiting Beliefs: A Path to Unlock Your True Potential
I'm Manuel Saez, I write to help founders master emotional intelligence to make decisions with clarity and confidence 🌻 EQ coach, 2X-founder & award-winning designer ➜ I love fixing old motorcycles 🛵 🏍
Reading time: 8 min.
Contents:
1. What Are Limiting Beliefs
2. How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
3. How Limiting Beliefs Hold You Back
4. How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
5. 12 Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back
6. Taking Action and Moving Forward
For most of my life, I believed that I could not play the guitar, that playing the guitar was not one of my talents, and that I would never be able to play guitar and sing along.
When I was a teenager, I tried to learn to play, but my friends made fun of me, my family laughed, and even my guitar teacher told me I was not good and that I "should stick to playing rugby,"
...and I believed them.
It was very disappointing. I wanted to be good at it, but I guess it was not meant to be.
All I had left was to enjoy when other people played.
Since then, I have always admired people performing live music, either at Carnegie Hall or people playing in the Subway; I always fall into their spell.
But something changed recently.
For the past few months, I have been trying again. I entered this challenge with the question: "What if they were wrong? What if I can play and sing?"
This approach of doubting what had been a settled matter my whole life allowed me to be inquisitive and try things without pressure; it was just me being curious and testing the boundaries.
With the help of some books and YouTube, I have taught myself a few chords, some basic rules, and techniques, and now I can play a few songs.
I am not perfect by any means, but I can play and sing in a way that makes me happy.
When I play, I experience immense joy and contentment that I have not experienced with anything else I have done.
This experience of overcoming a belief so deep in my mind got me thinking about how many other beliefs I have and what my life could be if I tackle them one by one.
I am also curious about how to overcome them. In my case, I did it by asking the question, "What if they were wrong?" but maybe there are more ways to do it.
Today, I want to share my take on limiting beliefs, what they are, how they are formed, how they hold us back, and what we can do to overcome them.
I know life is a lot better when you are no longer held back by ideas that were, in most cases, put in your head by other people.
What Are Limiting Beliefs
Living with limiting beliefs is like driving a car with the parking brake on.
Limiting beliefs are deep-seated convictions about ourselves, others, or the world that ultimately prevent us from achieving our full potential, truly appreciating other people, or enjoying the world around us to the fullest.
These beliefs often originate in childhood and are shaped by our interactions with parents, siblings, teachers, friends, and peers.
I believe that in most cases, the people who said these things to us didn't intend to create limiting beliefs within us. They likely made an offhand comment that we, for some reason, held onto as an undeniable truth.
For example, suppose you were repeatedly told as a child that you were not good at math. In that case, you might carry that belief into adulthood, avoiding any career or activities that require mathematical skills.
Psychologically, limiting beliefs function as a protective mechanism. Our brains are wired to avoid pain and discomfort, so when we encounter situations that challenge these deep-rooted beliefs, we often retreat or avoid rather than push through. This retreat reinforces the belief, creating a vicious cycle that is hard to break.
But here's the thing: limiting beliefs are not facts. They're simply interpretations of past experiences that we've accepted as truth.
By being aware of them for what they truly are, we can begin to question their validity and ultimately break free from their grip.
My journey with the guitar is a perfect example of this. For years, I believed I couldn't play, but that belief wasn't based on any inherent lack of ability—it was based on the opinions of others, which I had mistakenly accepted as my own.
How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
Self-awareness is the first step in identifying and overcoming our limiting beliefs.
These beliefs are often so ingrained that we might not even recognize them as beliefs—they feel like truths. However, there are several strategies for uncovering them.
➜ Start by reflecting on areas of your life where you feel stuck or dissatisfied. Are there goals you've been hesitant to pursue? What excuses do you make for not chasing them?
For example, you might think, "I'm too old to start a new career," or "I'm not smart enough to run my own business." These are classic examples of limiting beliefs.
➜ Another effective technique is journaling. Try writing down your thoughts and feelings about different areas of your life, paying close attention to negative self-talk.
You might be surprised at the recurring themes that emerge. The belief that I wasn't musically talented repeatedly surfaced, especially after seeing someone perform live music.
➜ You can also seek feedback from trusted friends or a coach. Sometimes, others can see our limiting beliefs more clearly than we can.
They can help you identify patterns of thought that are holding you back and provide encouragement to challenge those beliefs.
How Limiting Beliefs Hold You Back
Limiting beliefs have an uncanny ability to prevent us from reaching our full potential.
They are nagging voices in our heads that say, "You are not good enough," "You are too young or too old," or something else along those lines that, in most cases, is a biased assessment of the situation that puts you on the less capable or losing side.
Sadly, in many cases, limiting beliefs keep people from fulfilling their true purpose in life.
These beliefs manifest in various aspects of our lives, subtly shaping our decisions and actions. Here are the most common areas:
Self-Worth:
Many people struggle with thoughts like "I'm not good enough" or "I don't deserve success." These beliefs can erode self-esteem and prevent you from pursuing opportunities that could lead to growth and fulfillment.
Relationships:
Beliefs such as "I'm not worthy of love" or "People will always disappoint me" can sabotage relationships before they even begin. This can lead to isolation or a pattern of unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Career:
Thoughts like "I'm not qualified for that promotion" or "I could never start my own business" can hold you back professionally. These beliefs keep you in your comfort zone, preventing you from taking the risks necessary for growth.
Health:
Limiting beliefs about health might include, "I'll never be fit" or "Healthy food is boring." These thoughts can keep you from adopting healthier habits and improving your physical and mental well-being.
It may be helpful for you to take a moment and reflect on whether any of these resonate with you.
Understanding where these beliefs manifest is the first step to breaking free from their constraints. By identifying the areas most affected, you can begin to take targeted action to overcome them.
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Once you've identified your limiting beliefs, the next step is to challenge and replace them with more empowering ones.
Here are some practical steps to help you do just that:
Awareness:
To overcome limiting beliefs, you must be aware of them first.
You need to acknowledge they exist and recognize their impact on your life.
This awareness often comes when you observe your thoughts from a neutral state of mind, where you're not emotionally charged. In this calmer state, you can start questioning the beliefs holding you back and see them more objectively.
For example, if you regularly tell yourself, "I'm not good enough," try to catch when this thought arises and consider it without judgment. Simply recognizing that you have this belief is a powerful first step.
Challenge the Belief:
Once you've identified a limiting belief, the next step is to challenge its validity.
Ask yourself, "Is this belief really true?" Often, these beliefs are based on assumptions rather than facts.
For instance, I had long believed that I wasn't musically talented, but when I started to question this belief by asking, "What if they were wrong? What if I can play and sing?" I opened the door to new possibilities.
Challenging your beliefs in this way creates space for alternative, more empowering perspectives.
Gather Evidence:
After challenging the belief, actively seek out evidence that contradicts it.
In my case, every time I successfully learned a new chord or song, it was proof that I could play the guitar.
Evidence is everywhere, but we tend to notice only the evidence supporting our beliefs.
When you start questioning a belief, you'll see evidence suggesting the belief may be based on a false premise.
This process of gathering contradictory evidence helps weaken the limiting belief's grip.
Replace the Belief:
Our limiting beliefs often stem from someone else's words—comments that make us feel inadequate or reinforce a negative view of ourselves.
These people likely didn't intend to cause harm, but their words left an impact nonetheless. With this awareness, you can now take action to reverse the belief.
Replace the old belief with a new, empowering one. For example, instead of telling myself, "I can't play the guitar," I began to say, "I'm learning to play the guitar, and I'm getting better every day."
This reframing is powerful, and once you successfully apply it in one area of your life, you'll find it easier to do the same in other areas.
Practice:
Overcoming limiting beliefs is an ongoing process. The beliefs we've carried for a lifetime can be hard to shake, requiring consistent practice and persistence.
Surround yourself with positive influences, seek support when needed, and reinforce your new beliefs until they become your new reality. Even if you fall back into old habits, don't punish yourself.
Relapses are normal; recognize them, make the necessary adjustments, and get back on track.
The key is to stay committed to your growth and to remember that change is a journey, not a destination.
12 Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back
Recognizing limiting beliefs is a crucial step toward overcoming them.
Seeing common examples of these beliefs can trigger awareness, helping you identify similar patterns in your thoughts.
Once you become aware of these limiting beliefs, you can challenge and replace them with more empowering alternatives.
Below are 12 examples of limiting beliefs that might be holding you back in various areas of your life:
1. Money: "I'll never be financially secure."
This belief often stems from experiences in childhood or early adulthood, especially if you grew up in a household where money was a constant source of stress or scarcity.
It can show up in your life as a persistent anxiety about money, even when you're financially stable.
You might avoid taking financial risks, shy away from investments, or miss out on opportunities for growth because you're convinced that financial security is out of reach.
This belief can keep you in a cycle of fear and scarcity, preventing you from fully enjoying or managing your financial resources.
2. Relationships: "I don't deserve a healthy relationship."
This limiting belief often originates from past experiences of rejection, betrayal, or unfulfilled relationships.
It might have been reinforced by critical or unloving behavior from significant people in your life.
This belief manifests as self-sabotage in relationships, where you might unconsciously choose partners who are emotionally unavailable or engage in behaviors that push people away. It keeps you stuck in unhealthy dynamics, preventing you from experiencing the love and support you truly desire and deserve.
3. Career: "I'm not qualified for that job."
This belief is common among those who struggle with imposter syndrome or have been made to feel inadequate in their professional lives.
It can be deeply rooted in a fear of failure or rejection, often stemming from past experiences where you were overlooked or criticized.
This belief shows up in your life as a reluctance to apply for jobs or promotions, even when you have the necessary skills and experience.
It can keep you stuck in a job you dislike, limiting your career growth and satisfaction and ultimately keeping you from reaching your full potential.
4. Health: "I'll never be fit."
This belief often comes from a history of failed attempts at dieting or exercise, reinforced by a negative body image or unhealthy lifestyle patterns established early in life.
It shows up as a lack of motivation to pursue fitness goals, with thoughts like, "What's the point? I never succeed anyway."
This mindset can keep you stuck in unhealthy habits, preventing you from making the changes needed to improve your physical and mental well-being.
5. Self-Worth: "I'm not good enough."
A deeply ingrained belief, often formed in childhood through critical parenting or early life experiences where you felt inadequate.
This belief can manifest as a fear of trying new things, avoiding challenges, or constantly comparing yourself to others.
It erodes your confidence and can lead to settling for less in life, whether in relationships, career, or personal goals because you don't believe you deserve more.
6. Learning: "I'm too old to learn something new."
This belief is rooted in the societal notion that learning and growth are reserved for the young.
It often shows up when considering new educational opportunities or hobbies.
You might tell yourself, "It's too late for me to start now," leading to missed personal and professional development opportunities. It can keep you from expanding your knowledge and skills, limiting your ability to adapt and grow.
7. Social Interactions: "People don't like me."
This belief may stem from past experiences of social rejection or being bullied.
It can lead to social anxiety and avoidance of new social situations under the assumption that you're inherently unlikable or awkward.
This belief often manifests as overanalyzing interactions, assuming the worst about how others perceive you, and avoiding social gatherings, ultimately reinforcing the belief.
8. Creativity: "I'm not a creative person."
This belief often forms in school or early in your career when your creative ideas were dismissed or undervalued.
It manifests as a reluctance to engage in creative activities or share ideas, leading to a self-imposed limitation on one's creative potential.
One might avoid tasks that require creative thinking, sticking to routines that feel safe but uninspired.
9. Time Management: "I never have enough time."
This belief is common in people who feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities or who struggle with procrastination.
It can be rooted in perfectionism or a tendency to take on too much at once.
This manifests in life as constant stress, a feeling of being rushed, and an inability to prioritize tasks effectively. It can prevent you from managing your time well, leading to chronic stress and burnout.
10. Parenting: "I'm not a good parent."
This belief often arises from comparing yourself to others or feeling overwhelmed by parenting responsibilities.
It can be fueled by moments of perceived failure, such as losing patience with your child or feeling you've made a wrong decision.
It shows up as guilt, anxiety, and a lack of confidence in your parenting choices, which can affect your relationship with your children and your overall well-being as a parent.
11. Happiness: "I don't deserve to be happy."
This belief may stem from early experiences of trauma or being made to feel unworthy of love and joy.
It manifests in self-sabotaging behaviors, such as pushing away opportunities for happiness or settling for less because you believe you don't deserve more.
This belief can keep you in a state of chronic dissatisfaction, preventing you from fully embracing the good things in your life.
12. Success: "Success is for other people, not me."
This belief often comes from a history of failures or unmet expectations, leading to a deep-seated conviction that you're not meant to succeed.
It manifests as a reluctance to pursue goals, procrastination, or giving up too quickly when faced with challenges. It can keep you from reaching your full potential, as you don't allow yourself to even try to succeed.
Taking Action and Moving Forward
These examples aren't just statements—they're barriers that can keep you from living the life you want.
The key is recognizing, challenging, and replacing them with beliefs that empower you to move forward. Awareness is the first step, but real change comes from taking action.
As you reflect on these examples, think about which ones resonate with you. If any of these beliefs have been part of your internal dialogue, now is the time to start questioning them.
Gather evidence that contradicts these beliefs, create new, empowering statements, and practice reinforcing them daily. Overcoming limiting beliefs is a journey, not a one-time event. It takes persistence, practice, and a willingness to challenge yourself.
But the rewards—greater confidence, better relationships, and a more fulfilling life—are worth it. I’m committed to continuing this work on myself, and I encourage you to do the same.
Thanks for reading. Please bookmark this article and share it with friends who may benefit.
Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel Saez