I'm Manuel Saez, a product executive, builder, and two-time founder. I write about leadership, decision-making, self-awareness, and what I’ve learned building products, teams, and businesses.
For most of my life, I believed that I could not play the guitar, that playing the guitar was not one of my talents, and that I would never be able to play guitar and sing along.
When I was a teenager, I tried to learn to play, but my friends made fun of me, my family laughed, and even my guitar teacher told me I was not good and that I "should stick to playing rugby."
...and I believed them.
It was very disappointing.
I wanted to be good at it, but I guess it was not meant to be.
All I had left was to enjoy when other people played.
Since then, I have always admired people performing live music, either at Carnegie Hall or people playing in the Subway; I always fall under their spell.
But something changed recently.
For the past few months, I have been trying again.
I entered this challenge with the question:
"What if they were wrong? What if I can play and sing?"
This approach of doubting what had been a settled matter my whole life allowed me to be inquisitive and try things without pressure; it was just me being curious and testing the boundaries.
With the help of some books and YouTube, I have taught myself a few chords, some basic rules, and techniques, and now I can play a few songs.
I am not perfect by any means, but I can play and sing in a way that makes me happy.
When I play, I experience immense joy and contentment that I have not experienced with anything else I have done.
This experience of overcoming a belief so deep in my mind got me thinking about how many other beliefs I have and what my life could be if I tackle them one by one.
I am also curious about how to overcome them. In my case, I did it by asking the question, "What if they were wrong?" but maybe there are more ways to do it.
Today, I want to share my take on limiting beliefs, what they are, how they are formed, how they hold us back, and what we can do to overcome them.
I know life is a lot better when you are no longer held back by ideas that were, in most cases, put in your head by other people.
What Are Limiting Beliefs
Living with limiting beliefs is like driving a car with the parking brake on.
They are beliefs we hold about ourselves, other people, or the world that can quietly limit what we think is possible.
Many of them start early. A comment from a parent, teacher, sibling, friend, or peer can stick with us long after the moment has passed. In most cases, I don’t think the person meant to shape how we saw ourselves. They may have said something casually, but for some reason, we held onto it as truth.
If you were repeatedly told as a child that you were bad at math, for example, you might carry that belief into adulthood and avoid careers or situations that involve numbers.
The problem is that these beliefs are not always facts. Sometimes they are simply old interpretations of past experiences that we stopped questioning.
Once we become aware of them, we can start asking whether they are still true.
My experience with the guitar is a good example. For years, I believed I couldn’t play. But that belief was not based on any real lack of ability. It came from other people’s opinions, which I had slowly accepted as my own.
How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs
Self-awareness is the first step.
These beliefs can become so familiar that they no longer feel like beliefs. They feel like facts. That can make them hard to see.
One place I start is by looking at the areas of my life where I feel stuck or dissatisfied. Are there things I want to do but keep avoiding? What reasons do I give myself?
Thoughts like “I’m too old to start something new” or “I’m not smart enough to run a business” may sound reasonable in the moment, but sometimes they are just beliefs we have stopped questioning.
Journaling also helps me. Writing down what I am thinking makes patterns easier to notice, especially recurring negative self-talk. For years, the belief that I was not musically talented kept surfacing whenever I saw someone perform live music.
It can also help to talk with people you trust. Sometimes others can see patterns in us that we have become too close to notice ourselves.
The goal is not to immediately prove every belief wrong. It is simply to notice it, question where it came from, and ask whether it still deserves to be treated as true.
How Limiting Beliefs Hold You Back
Limiting beliefs can quietly shape what we think is possible.
They often sound like, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m too old,” “I’m too young,” or “I’m not ready.” In many cases, they are not objective assessments. They are stories we have repeated so often that they start to feel true.
The problem is that once we believe them, they begin to influence our decisions. We avoid certain opportunities. We stay inside familiar boundaries. We stop ourselves before anyone else has the chance to.
I’ve seen this show up in a few common areas:
Self-Worth
Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve this” can make us hesitate when opportunities appear. Over time, they can shape how we see ourselves and what we believe we are capable of.
Relationships
Beliefs like “I’m not worthy of love” or “People always disappoint me” can affect how we enter relationships and how much trust we are willing to give.
Career
Thoughts such as “I’m not qualified for that role” or “I could never start my own business” can keep us from taking risks, asking for more, or trying something new.
Health
Beliefs like “I’ll never be fit” or “I’m just not a healthy person” can make change feel impossible before we even begin.
The useful question for me is not whether every limiting belief is completely false. It is whether I have examined it recently.
Sometimes the belief may have started from something real. But that does not mean it still deserves to define what I do next.
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Once I become aware of a limiting belief, the next step is to question it.
I try not to fight it right away. I first want to understand where it came from, why I still believe it, and whether it is actually true.
These are the things that have helped me most.
Awareness
I have to notice the belief before I can do anything about it.
That usually happens when I am calm enough to observe my thoughts without immediately reacting to them.
If I catch myself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” I try not to judge the thought. I simply notice that it is there.
That alone creates some distance between the thought and the truth.
Challenge the Belief
Then I ask a simple question:
Is this actually true?
For years, I believed I was not musically talented. Then one day I asked myself, “What if they were wrong? What if I can play and sing?”
That question changed everything.
Sometimes we do not need a new answer right away. We just need to stop treating the old one as unquestionable.
Gather Evidence
Once I start questioning a belief, I look for evidence.
Every new chord I learned was evidence that maybe I could play guitar after all. Every song I managed to get through weakened the old story a little more.
I have noticed that we are very good at finding evidence for what we already believe.
So I try to do the opposite.
I look for proof that the old belief may not be as true as I thought.
Replace the Belief
Many of our limiting beliefs started with something someone else said to us.
Maybe they meant it. Maybe they didn’t. Either way, we decided to keep it.
Once I recognize that, I can choose a different story.
Instead of saying, “I can’t play guitar,” I started saying, “I’m learning to play guitar, and I’m getting better.”
That may sound like a small distinction, but for me it was a big one.
I was no longer defining myself by what I could not do.
Practice
This part takes time.
Some beliefs have been with us for decades. They do not disappear because we challenged them once.
I still fall back into old patterns sometimes. When I do, I try not to make that another reason to criticize myself.
I notice it. I correct course. I keep going.
That has been the real lesson for me.
The goal is not to eliminate every doubt. It is to stop letting old beliefs make decisions for me.
12 Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back
Sometimes it is easier to recognize a limiting belief when we see it written down.
The words may be different, but the pattern is often familiar. We accept an idea about ourselves, repeat it long enough, and eventually stop questioning whether it is true.
Here are twelve examples I have seen come up again and again.
1. Money: “I’ll never be financially secure.”
This belief can start early, especially if money was a constant source of stress growing up.
Even when circumstances improve, the fear can remain. It may make us overly cautious, afraid to invest, or unable to enjoy what we have because we are always waiting for something to go wrong.
2. Relationships: “I don’t deserve a healthy relationship.”
Past rejection, betrayal, or difficult relationships can shape what we believe we deserve.
Sometimes that means accepting unhealthy dynamics, keeping people at a distance, or assuming a good relationship will eventually fall apart.
3. Career: “I’m not qualified for that job.”
This one is easy to recognize.
We see an opportunity and immediately start listing all the reasons we are not ready for it.
Sometimes the qualifications really are missing. Other times, fear makes the gap look much larger than it actually is.
4. Health: “I’ll never be fit.”
A few failed attempts can easily become a story about who we are.
“I tried before, and it didn’t work” slowly becomes “I’m just not someone who can do this.”
That belief can stop another attempt before it even begins.
5. Self-Worth: “I’m not good enough.”
This may be one of the most damaging beliefs because it can find its way into almost everything.
Work. Relationships. Creativity. Ambition.
If I believe I am not good enough, I can always find a reason not to try.
6. Learning: “I’m too old to learn something new.”
I hear this one often, and I have caught myself thinking versions of it too.
Age can become a convenient reason not to begin. But being a beginner is uncomfortable at any age.
My experience with guitar reminded me of that.
7. Social Interactions: “People don’t like me.”
One difficult interaction can easily become evidence for a much bigger story.
Then we start reading every conversation through that lens, looking for signs that confirm what we already believe.
Sometimes the belief creates the very distance we are afraid of.
8. Creativity: “I’m not a creative person.”
Creativity is often treated like something you either have or you don’t.
I don’t believe that.
When people stop seeing themselves as creative, they often stop experimenting, making things, asking strange questions, or sharing ideas. Eventually, the lack of practice starts to look like proof.
9. Time: “I never have enough time.”
Sometimes there truly is too much to do.
But I have also learned that “I don’t have time” can hide other things: unclear priorities, perfectionism, avoidance, or simply saying yes to too much.
The belief itself can make everything feel more overwhelming.
10. Parenting: “I’m not a good parent.”
Parenting gives us endless opportunities to question ourselves.
We lose patience. We make the wrong call. We wish we had handled something differently.
Those moments matter, but they do not necessarily define the whole relationship or who we are as parents.
11. Happiness: “I don’t deserve to be happy.”
This belief can be difficult to recognize because it does not always appear as a clear thought.
Sometimes it looks like guilt when things are going well, difficulty accepting something good, or a tendency to create problems when life feels calm.
12. Success: “Success is for other people, not me.”
This belief can quietly change how much we ask of ourselves.
We hesitate. We procrastinate. We give up sooner. We decide something is unrealistic before giving ourselves a real chance.
That is what makes limiting beliefs so powerful.
They do not always stop us directly.
Sometimes they simply convince us not to start.
Taking Action and Moving Forward
These beliefs can quietly become barriers between us and the things we want.
Awareness is the first step, but it is not enough on its own. Once I notice a limiting belief, I try to question it, look for evidence against it, and replace it with something more useful.
That takes practice.
Some of these beliefs have been with us for years. They do not disappear overnight, and I still catch myself falling back into old patterns.
When that happens, I try to notice it without beating myself up, make the adjustment, and keep moving.
I’m still doing this work myself.
The more I question the stories I have carried for years, the more curious I become about what else might be possible.
Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel Saez