Ego vs. Humility
The Leadership Balance That Defines Startup Success
I'm Manuel Saez, I write to help founders master emotional intelligence to make decisions with clarity and confidence 🌻 EQ coach, 2X-founder & award-winning designer ➜ I love fixing old motorcycles 🛵 🏍
Reading time: 8 min.
Contents:
1. The Elusive Humble Leadership
2. Ego in Check: How Self-Awareness Fuels Long-Term Success
3. The Negative Impact of Overconfidence
4. The Psychology Behind Ego Management
5. Practical Tips for Managing Ego as a Founder
6. A Balanced Ego is the Key to Startup Success
Ego can be a founder's greatest strength—or their ultimate downfall—it's all about how you manage it.
When we think of startup founders, we often picture people with strong egos who seem unstoppable in their drive to succeed.
We've heard countless stories of founders who pushed through impossible odds, driven by sheer self-confidence.
But here's the thing: when it comes to founders' performance, ego isn't always the asset it's made out to be. In fact, there's no clear evidence that founders with big egos are more successful than those who are more humble.
The reality is that the relationship between ego and success is complex.
As founders, we walk a fine line between the confidence we need to lead and the humility we need to grow.
From my experience and what I've seen in other founders I coach, a healthy balance of ego and humility is the secret that leads to better business outcomes.
The Elusive Humble Leader
Every founder needs a healthy dose of confidence to succeed, but when confidence morphs into arrogance, it can be destructive.
Leaders with balanced egos and humility tend to outperform those with inflated egos because they stay open to learning, adapt to feedback, and foster stronger team dynamics.
In fact, research backs this up. A study published in Harvard Business Review found that leaders who embrace humility are more open to feedback and inspire greater employee engagement and innovation within their teams. That's because a humble leader creates space for others to contribute, which leads to a more collaborative and creative environment.
My personal experience also shows this: when I lead humbly, my teams are more willing to share ideas and push boundaries. Motivating people to do something always feels better than telling them to do it.
Humility doesn't mean downplaying your strengths. It means acknowledging that you don't know everything and that there's always room for improvement. When the ego is balanced with humility, leadership becomes more about empowering others rather than asserting control.
Ego in Check: How Self-Awareness Fuels Long-Term Success
When managed properly, ego can be a powerful driver of vision and persistence. For founders, self-confidence is essential—it gives us the courage to take risks and push our businesses forward, even when the odds feel stacked against us.
In the unpredictable world of startups, confidence fuels our vision. It helps us endure tough times, keep our eyes on long-term goals, and push through uncertainty. This belief in ourselves is necessary to make bold decisions, inspire our teams, and stay committed when others have doubts.
But here's the critical part—when ego crosses into arrogance, it quickly becomes a liability. Overconfidence can make us rigid, closing off valuable feedback and alternative perspectives. When we stop listening, things often start to go wrong.
This is why high emotional intelligence and self-awareness are crucial traits for founders. It's important to know when our ego is getting in the way and when it's time to pivot or adjust.
Sticking stubbornly to an idea just because it's "ours" can be detrimental.
I've learned this lesson firsthand—stubbornness can sink even the best ideas if we're not willing to make adjustments.
Being confident but remaining open, adaptable, and aware of when to change course is the secret to long-term success.
The Negative Impact of Overconfidence
Now, let's talk about the dark side of ego: overconfidence.
When we believe too much in our abilities, we risk making poor strategic decisions because we overestimate what we can achieve and underestimate the challenges ahead.
This overconfidence, or "overconfidence bias," can kill startups. Overconfident leaders often make risky decisions, ignore critical feedback, and ultimately set their companies on a path to failure.
I've seen this happen to founders who refuse to listen to their teams or advisors because they believe they know best. This kind of arrogance blinds you to potential pitfalls, and that's dangerous in a fast-moving startup environment.
As a founder, one of the hardest lessons I've learned is that asking for help or admitting that I don't have all the answers is a sign of strength, not weakness.
It's easy to get caught up in the idea that you must know everything, but that's unrealistic. Learning to step back, reflect, and take advice from others can feel like a relief—I know it did for me—and it is critical to avoiding the pitfalls of overconfidence.
The Psychology Behind Ego Management
Understanding the psychological underpinnings of ego can provide valuable insights into how we, as founders, navigate success and failure.
Our egos are significantly shaped by early experiences, societal expectations, and personal insecurities; these factors can profoundly influence our behavior as founders.
Freud's psychoanalytic theory suggests that the ego serves as a defense mechanism, protecting us from anxiety and internal conflicts by mediating between our primal desires (id) and moral standards (superego)
When the ego becomes overly dominant, it can lead to maladaptive behaviors, hindering personal and professional growth.
One common defense mechanism is projection, where individuals attribute their own unacceptable feelings or qualities to others. For instance, a founder who feels insecure about their leadership might accuse team members of incompetence, deflecting attention from their shortcomings.
Cognitive-behavioral techniques like cognitive reframing can be effective in managing such ego-driven behaviors. This process involves identifying and challenging negative thought patterns, allowing for a more balanced perspective. By recognizing when our ego is influencing decisions, we can step back and approach situations with greater clarity.
Developing self-awareness is also crucial. By regularly reflecting on our actions and seeking feedback, we can identify when our ego may be leading us astray. This awareness enables us to make conscious adjustments, fostering healthier relationships and more effective leadership.
Practical Tips for Managing Ego as a Founder
Managing one's ego is a lifelong process, and everyone should actively work on it, but especially founders.
Here are a few practices that have helped me keep my ego in check:
Regular Reflection: Set aside time to reflect on your decisions and behavior. Ask yourself, "Am I leading with confidence or arrogance?" Regular self-assessment helps you stay aware of how ego may be creeping into your decision-making and allows you to adjust before it becomes problematic.
Seek Feedback: Create a culture where your team feels comfortable giving you honest feedback. It can be challenging to hear, but it's invaluable. Honest feedback helps you stay grounded and ensures that your ego doesn't create blind spots that could hinder your leadership or team dynamics.
Mentorship: Find mentors who can help you navigate your journey. A good mentor will challenge your assumptions and keep you grounded. Mentors often provide valuable outside perspectives to help you see situations more clearly and avoid ego-driven decisions.
Practice Self-Awareness: The more aware you are of your thoughts and emotions, the better you can manage your ego. Meditation and journaling have been game-changers for me in this area. By regularly checking in with yourself, you can spot when your ego might be steering your actions and make conscious adjustments.
Celebrate Wins, But Don't Dwell: Recognize your achievements, but don't let them define you. Stay hungry and humble. While acknowledging successes is important, constantly seeking praise can inflate your ego. Balance celebrating achievements with maintaining the drive for continuous improvement.
A Balanced Ego is the Key to Startup Success
Ego is a double-edged sword. While we need confidence to overcome challenges and lead our startups, too much ego can lead to poor decisions, strained relationships, and even failure.
The most successful founders I've seen—and the times when I've felt most effective as a leader—are when ego is balanced with humility.
A balanced ego allows us to take risks, remain open to feedback, and be willing to adapt.
It helps us stay confident in our vision without becoming blinded by it. In a startup, balance is everything.
As founders, managing our ego is an ongoing process. It requires self-awareness, reflection, and a willingness to admit when we're wrong. But in my experience, it's a game-changer when we get it right.
If you're a founder navigating this journey, I hope my reflections are helpful to you. Remember, the ego is a tool, and how we use it makes all the difference.
Thanks for reading. If you found this essay helpful, please like this article and share it with friends who may benefit from it.
Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel Saez