I'm Manuel Saez, a two-time founder, and award-winning designer. In this blog, I write about founders’ mental health giving myself the advice I wish I had received while building a business.
Reading time: 5 min.
Contents:
Overcoming Isolation - What To Do When You Need To Talk To Someone
- Mentorship
- Therapy
- Peer Support Groups
- Actionable Steps
Coping With Loneliness - Finding Joy And Purpose In Solitude
- Meditation and Mindfulness
- Physical Activity
- Creative Outlets
Conclusion
Sometimes, New York City can feel like the loneliest place in the world.
You can see a million faces every day, but you still feel the void of loneliness.
To be alone is not the same as being lonely.
You can be on an island alone, entirely by yourself, and not be lonely if you have the right mindset.
Yet, you can be in the biggest city in the world, among millions of people, and be totally lonely.
Being a founder sometimes feels like this: unbearably lonely.
Although loneliness is an emotion virtually everyone experiences at some point in life, it can be an ongoing battle for founders experiencing burnout.
Despite being surrounded by teammates, family, or friends, they still struggle with intense isolation and the feeling that there is no one to talk to that would relate to their struggle.
There isn't an exact formula for overcoming loneliness; understanding its causes can help lead to better-coping strategies to help founders live free from feeling isolated and disconnected.
In this essay, I share strategies that worked for me and other insights that may help you navigate your founder's journey.
Overcoming Isolation
What To Do When You Need To Talk To Someone
Navigating through the isolation often accompanying the startup journey requires a multifaceted approach to seeking support and establishing connections.
Recognizing when you need to talk to someone and taking action can be transformative, providing relief and a renewed sense of purpose and direction.
Here are a few ways to do it:
Mentorship
Mentorship is a powerful tool in the entrepreneurial world. A mentor who has traversed the same path can offer invaluable insights and guidance.
But beyond the practical advice, mentorship offers a deeper, more personal connection.
Shared Experiences: A mentor can share their experiences with loneliness and isolation, providing solutions, empathy, and understanding. Knowing someone else has faced and overcome similar challenges can be incredibly reassuring.
Continuous Support: Regular check-ins with a mentor can provide stability and continuity, offering a touchstone during turbulent times. These relationships often evolve into long-term sources of support and inspiration.
Guidance and Feedback: Beyond emotional support, mentors can provide critical feedback on your business, helping you navigate challenges and make strategic decisions. This guidance can alleviate some of the loneliness by reinforcing that you're not making these decisions in isolation.
Therapy
Therapy offers a structured approach to dealing with loneliness, providing a safe space to explore your feelings, understand their roots, and develop strategies to manage them.
Professional Insight: Therapists can help identify patterns that may contribute to feelings of isolation, offering strategies to break these cycles. They can provide tools to manage stress, anxiety, and other emotions that compound the sense of loneliness.
Confidentiality and Safety: The secrecy of therapy creates a safe environment to express vulnerabilities without fear of judgment. This can be particularly valuable for founders, who may feel pressure always to appear strong and in control.
Therapeutic Techniques: Therapists can introduce cognitive-behavioral techniques to reframe negative thinking patterns that contribute to feelings of isolation. They can also teach mindfulness and relaxation techniques to help manage the stress of running a startup.
Peer Support Groups
Connecting with peers in similar situations can provide a sense of solidarity and understanding that is hard to find elsewhere. Peer support groups offer a platform for sharing experiences, challenges, and successes.
Shared Understanding: Other founders inherently understand the unique pressures and challenges of the startup world. This shared context can create a sense of belonging and community.
Diverse Perspectives: Peer groups bring together individuals from various backgrounds and industries, offering multiple perspectives and solutions. This diversity can inspire new approaches to common problems, reducing the feeling of being stuck or alone in facing challenges.
Networking and Collaboration: Beyond emotional support, these groups can facilitate networking opportunities and potential collaborations, further alleviating isolation by building a supportive professional network.
Actionable Steps
Taking the first step to reaching out can be daunting, but it is essential for overcoming isolation.
Here are some actionable steps to consider:
Identify Potential Mentors: Look for individuals whose career paths or entrepreneurial journeys inspire you. Many are willing to share their knowledge and experience, understanding the value of giving back.
Seek Therapy: If you're you're struggling with persistent feelings of loneliness or isolation, consider seeking a therapist who specializes in entrepreneurial stress or cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Join or Create a Peer Support Group: Look for existing entrepreneur networks or consider starting your own. Even informal meetups can provide a sense of community and support.
Admitting the need for connection and seeking mentorship, therapy, and peer support can significantly impact your mental health and business success.
These connections provide practical advice and emotional support and remind you that you're not alone in your entrepreneurial journey.
Coping With Loneliness
Finding Joy And Purpose In Solitude
Embracing solitude and transforming it into a source of strength and joy is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
The realization that being alone does not equate to loneliness opens the door to a world of possibilities for enriching one's life and finding fulfillment in moments of solitude.
Here's an expanded look at how to find joy and purpose in being alone.
Meditation and Mindfulness
Engaging in meditation and mindfulness practices is a powerful tool for anchoring oneself in the present moment, allowing for a deeper connection with one's inner self.
These practices offer a refuge from the relentless pace of startup life, providing a space to breathe, reflect, and regain clarity.
Deepening Self-Awareness: Regular meditation fosters a heightened self-awareness, enabling founders better to understand their thoughts, emotions, and reactions. This self-knowledge is invaluable, both personally and professionally.
Reducing Stress: Mindfulness practices can significantly reduce stress levels by encouraging relaxation and focus. By learning to observe thoughts without judgment, founders can gain perspective on their challenges, leading to more balanced emotional responses.
Enhancing Creativity: A clear, focused mind is a fertile ground for creativity. Meditation can open up new thinking pathways, inspiring innovative solutions to business challenges and stimulating creative expression in personal projects.
Physical Activity
Incorporating physical activity into one's routine benefits physical health and mental and emotional well-being.
Exercise can be a powerful antidote to startup life's isolation and sedentary nature.
Boosting Mood: Physical activity releases endorphins, natural mood lifters that can combat feelings of loneliness and depression. A regular exercise regimen can lead to improved mood and energy levels, making the challenges of entrepreneurship more manageable.
Improving Health: Beyond the immediate mood-enhancing effects, regular exercise contributes to long-term health benefits, including improved cardiovascular health, strength, and stamina. These physical improvements can enhance the overall quality of life and resilience against stress.
Building Routine and Discipline: Establishing a consistent exercise routine can foster a sense of discipline and accomplishment. For founders, the dedication required to maintain physical fitness can mirror the perseverance needed to build a successful startup.
Creative Outlets
Pursuing creative interests outside work is a necessary counterbalance to the analytical and often rigid business world.
For me, fixing and riding motorcycles are activities that foster a sense of accomplishment and provide a unique outlet for expression.
Here are other activities that can accomplish the same:
Exploring Personal Interests: Creative hobbies allow founders to explore interests and passions that their business commitments may have sidelined. Whether it's writing, painting, or cooking, these activities offer a sense of personal fulfillment and joy.
Stimulating Innovation: Creativity in personal pursuits can spill over into professional life, encouraging innovative thinking and problem-solving. The skills and perspectives gained from creative hobbies can provide fresh insights into business challenges.
Connecting with Others: Many creative hobbies offer opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals, whether through classes, online communities, or local events. These connections can enrich a founder's social life, reducing feelings of isolation and building a supportive network.
In embracing solitude as an opportunity for growth and self-care, you can discover a wellspring of joy and purpose.
By integrating meditation and mindfulness, physical activity, and creative outlets into their lives, they can transform solitude from a source of loneliness into enriching solitude.
Conclusion
In Spanish, the verb "To Be" is divided into two verbs: "Ser" and "Estar."
The difference is that "Ser" has a sense of permanence; it defines things in a forever state, and "Estar" represents them in a more temporary form.
When talking about loneliness in Spanish, you say, "Estoy solo/sola," defined as impermanent.
Loneliness is not forever; it comes and goes, which is okay.
Understanding this will give you the relief to accept and embrace loneliness as a beautiful gift of life.
But always remember that if you feel overwhelmed by your sense of aloneness, please seek help.
A therapist or coach can provide compassionate guidance and support as you work through your loneliness and reconnect with yourself and others.
With patience, self-compassion, and courage, we can learn to accept our experiences of loneliness while finding ways to nurture meaningful relationships.
Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel