How to Become Your Best Friend
Building Self-Compassion and Inner Harmony to Fuel Your Entrepreneurial Journey
I'm Manuel Saez, I write to help founders master emotional intelligence to make decisions with clarity and confidence 🌻 EQ coach, 2X-founder & award-winning designer ➜ I love fixing old motorcycles 🛵 🏍
Reading time: 6 min.
Contents:
How to Build a Strong Relationship with Yourself
See Yourself from a Third-Person Perspective
Appreciate Your Struggle
Treat Yourself with Compassion and Empathy
The Journey to Self-Friendship
My life evolved positively when I became my best friend.
Understanding, appreciating, and loving myself for who I am brought a sense of calm and clarity that changed everything.
It felt like I’d finally found the clues that tied up all the questions I’d been carrying around—those lingering “whys” and “what ifs” that kept me up at night. It was as if all the answers I’d been searching for were waiting within me.
I’ll admit, if someone had told me this back in my 20s, I would have thought they were out of their mind. Back then, I thought the answers were outside of me—in success, money, recognition, and power.
And so, I chased all of that, believing it would make me whole. But even after reaching certain milestones, I still felt like something was missing. The emptiness I thought success would fill? It was still there, lingering.
Eventually, I started to look for answers inside, and that’s when things began to change. I found a sense of clarity and purpose that I hadn’t known before.
And while I sometimes stray from this path, I’ve come to see that I’m the best person to understand and care for myself.
The more you understand and love yourself, the easier it is for others to understand and love you and for you to understand and love others. It starts with you…
When I feel that harmony with myself, everything else flows. I find myself slipping into a state of flow more easily, not just when I’m designing or playing my guitar but even in the smallest things—washing dishes and running errands.
I realize now that when you’re in tune with yourself, you experience life more fully as if you’re finally seeing the world as it’s meant to be seen.
How to Build a Strong Relationship with Yourself
Getting to a place of harmony with myself was a journey. I went through so many stages, each one teaching me something about what it means to have a good relationship with myself.
I remember being younger, and whenever things didn’t go my way, I’d fall into this spiral of frustration, saying things like, “My life sucks,” or, “I hate myself.”
Now, looking back, I see how much that younger version of me was struggling—feeling not enough, fighting against every little setback.
But the truth is, I have a lot of love for that version of me now. That struggle taught me so much. I wouldn’t be who I am today without those experiences, and I’m grateful for the lessons they gave me.
So, if you’re on a similar path, trying to find that internal harmony, here are three things I learned that might help you, too.
1. See Yourself from a Third-Person Perspective
One of the most transformative things I’ve done is learning to step back and see myself from the outside, almost as if I’m watching my life unfold on a screen.
I separate myself from my actions, my habits, my thought patterns—seeing them as parts of me, not the whole of who I am.
It’s like stepping into the role of a wiser, calmer version of myself. This “wiser me” feels in tune, almost as if he’s one with the universe, observing my life with a sense of acceptance and understanding.
When I can do this, I get a better perspective on my behaviors and motivations. I start to see my ego at play, those moments when I’m driven by pride or fear rather than genuine desire.
Seeing things from this distance helps me detach from my own impulses and, in a way, lets me be a kind of mentor to myself.
It allows me to show love and respect for my journey or to call myself out when needed.
Sometimes, I need that internal honesty to grow, and approaching myself from this perspective has been a big part of my personal evolution.
This practice has taught me to offer myself encouragement and to give myself the honesty I need. It’s like a constant check-in, a way of holding myself accountable in a kind yet real way.
2. Appreciate Your Struggle
Struggle is a part of life, and it’s definitely a part of building something meaningful, whether it’s a startup or a sense of self. The struggle is like the fire that tempers the sword.
And while everyone goes through difficult times, not everyone sees their struggles as something to appreciate.
For the longest time, I didn’t either. But I started to realize that these struggles were shaping me, teaching me resilience, and giving me a perspective I couldn’t get any other way.
It’s not easy to go through hard times, and it’s not always easy to look back on them, either. But when I started to appreciate the courage it took to keep going, even when things looked bleak, I felt a shift.
My struggles turned into a kind of personal light—a guide that showed me my own strength. Each challenge has added to the layers that make me who I am, and I wouldn’t trade that experience.
So, if you’re going through something hard right now, remember that your struggle is part of what makes you unique. It gives you depth and resilience, which not everyone has.
And maybe, one day, it’ll be something that shines a light not only for you but for others who need to see that strength. Your struggles aren’t just setbacks; they’re part of your story, adding richness that only you can understand.
3. Treat Yourself with Compassion and Empathy
The truth is, no one will ever love you quite like you can love yourself.
Not in a self-centered way but from a place of pure compassion and acceptance. We’re with ourselves all the time. We know the full picture—our flaws, our quirks, the things we’re proud of, and the things we’d rather forget.
When you learn to look at all of this with empathy, you gain a renewed respect and appreciation for yourself.
Sometimes, life throws things our way—a tough conversation, a missed opportunity, a disagreement. And as humans, we tend to replay these events over and over, reliving the emotions, arguing in our minds with people who aren’t even there.
When I catch myself doing this, I try to step back, look at myself with compassion, and understand why I felt the way I did. I let myself feel the frustration or the anger without judgment. And then, I remind myself that it’s okay to feel that way, but it’s time to move forward.
This practice of compassion and empathy has given me the resilience to forgive myself and let go. And that has made it easier to show up with empathy and compassion for others too.
It’s a simple thing, really—just allowing yourself to be human—but it’s made a big difference in how I navigate life and relationships.
The Journey to Self-Friendship
Becoming my own best friend has been one of the most rewarding journeys of my life. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s taught me resilience, acceptance, and a kind of peace that no external success could ever bring.
Building this inner relationship has allowed me to see myself more clearly, appreciate my unique path, and show myself the kind of kindness I once reserved only for others.
Each of us has our own journey to discover who we are and to love ourselves for who we are. If you’re on this path, too, I hope my experiences offer some perspective. It takes time and patience, but it’s worth it.
Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel Saez