On Managing Expectations
The Emotional Side of Setting and Managing Expectations
I'm Manuel Saez, I write to help founders master emotional intelligence to make decisions with clarity and confidence 🌻 EQ coach, 2X-founder & award-winning designer ➜ I love fixing old motorcycles 🛵 🏍
Reading time: 7 min.
Contents:
The Emotional Side of Expectations
The Hidden Trap of Overthinking the Future
Strategies to Manage Expectations
Well-managed expectations are rocket fuel for the soul; badly managed ones can be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
When we’re doing something big, like starting a business or launching a new product, we put so much on the line—our time, energy, and hope.
Naturally, we expect all that effort to pay off in a thriving business or a successful product. But what happens if it doesn’t? What if months of work don’t lead to the success we envisioned?
When we pin our happiness on specific outcomes, we relinquish power. If all goes well, success feels great, but failure can leave us emotionally drained, questioning our worth and efforts.
Managing expectations is vital in every aspect of business—whether with clients, vendors, or our team—but today, I want to explore the emotional side of managing expectations.
This internal work is just as critical because when we fail to manage our expectations, it can take a toll on our confidence, energy, and resilience.
The Emotional Side of Expectations
There’s a practical side to managing expectations in business. Setting and managing expectations with customers, teams, and stakeholders is crucial for smooth operations.
But there’s another side—the emotional weight of the expectations we set for ourselves.
When we aim high but miss, it hurts. One failed attempt can sting, but a few in a row can erode confidence, make us question our abilities, and drain our energy.
This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t shoot for the stars—it means we need to frame our endeavors wisely.
Managing expectations isn’t about lowering the bar or playing it safe. It’s about setting goals that motivate without leaving us vulnerable to emotional burnout. It’s about being prepared for any outcome while still putting everything into the process.
The Hidden Trap of Overthinking the Future
I’ve noticed something interesting about how we approach big moments in our lives. We often overestimate how amazing success will feel or how devastating failure will be.
I remember a product launch early in my career when I was certain it would be the breakthrough moment that changed everything. I imagined the pride, recognition, and satisfaction I’d feel.
But when the launch came and went, it didn’t feel like I thought it would. It was just another step in the journey—not the life-altering event I’d built up in my head.
We do this all the time. We think a big win will fix everything, or a loss will leave us stuck forever. But emotions rarely work that way. They come and go faster than we expect.
For entrepreneurs and creatives, this is a big deal. Overthinking the future can lead to crushing disappointment or stop you from taking the risks you need to grow.
When we focus too much on how something might feel, we miss what’s in front of us—the work, the process, and the learning. That’s where the real magic happens.
Strategies to Manage Expectations
How you manage your expectations can significantly shape your emotional mindset.
It’s not just about keeping your goals practical—it’s about creating a framework that protects your confidence and energy, no matter the outcome.
Here are some strategies that have worked for me:
1. Build Options to Manage Expectations
One of the best ways to manage expectations is by preparing alternatives. When you know that you have a Plan B—or even a Plan C—it takes the emotional pressure off Plan A. This way, if things don’t go as planned, you’re not left feeling stuck or hopeless.
When I launched my first business, I had high hopes for immediate success. But I also recognized that entrepreneurship rarely follows a straight path, so I prepared other revenue streams and collaborations.
These backup plans gave me peace of mind, allowing me to focus on growing the business without being overwhelmed by “what ifs.”
This isn’t about being pessimistic—it’s about being prepared. Knowing you have alternatives gives you peace of mind allows you to tackle challenges with a clear head and reduces the emotional toll of potential setbacks.
Tips:
Think through possible outcomes and create actionable backup plans.
Regularly ask yourself, “What’s the worst-case scenario, and how can I address it?”
Revisit and update your backup plans as circumstances evolve.
2. Do It for the Pleasure of Doing It
If your emotional satisfaction is tied only to results, disappointment is inevitable. Outcomes are unpredictable. But when you focus on the process itself—the creativity, problem-solving, and growth—you find joy in the work, regardless of what happens.
For example, during a marketing campaign, I focused on crafting the best possible videos, sharp messaging, and a fun, engaging process with my team. The joy came from the creativity and collaboration, not just the sales numbers. And here’s the irony: the more you enjoy doing the work, the better the results tend to be.
This approach keeps you emotionally grounded. Even if things don’t turn out as expected, you still gain something valuable—the skills you honed, the lessons you learned, and the fun of doing the work.
Tips:
Define success beyond outcomes, such as learning, improving, or enjoying the process.
Celebrate small wins throughout the journey to stay motivated.
Infuse your projects with elements that excite you, like trying new tools, collaborating with inspiring people, or exploring creative ideas.
3. Set Realistic Goals
The principle of “underpromise and overdeliver” is a gift you can give yourself. Setting goals that are challenging but achievable creates clarity and motivation while minimizing emotional strain.
When setting revenue targets for a business, I use data and realistic projections rather than wishful thinking. Achieving those goals feels satisfying and keeps the momentum strong. On the other hand, setting an impossible target can lead to unnecessary frustration, even if progress has been substantial.
Realistic goals don’t mean you’re settling—they mean you’re building success step by step.
Tips:
Break larger objectives into smaller, manageable milestones to avoid overwhelm.
Use past data, research, or advice from mentors to set informed, grounded goals.
Regularly reassess your goals and adjust them to match new information or changing circumstances.
4. Embrace Flexibility
Even the best plans face unexpected challenges. Flexibility allows you to adapt when circumstances change, turning potential failures into opportunities for growth.
When we launched our first product at Beyond, we didn’t gain traction as expected. Instead of feeling defeated, I adjusted the marketing strategy, sought feedback, and refined the offering. That adaptability transformed what could’ve been a failure into a valuable learning experience—and eventually, a success.
Being flexible doesn’t mean abandoning your goals; it means staying open to new paths toward achieving them.
Tips:
When things don’t go as planned, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”
Avoid rigid thinking—leave room for creativity and unexpected opportunities.
Build “pivot points” into your projects to make adjustments easier.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
We are often our own harshest critics. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to dwell on mistakes and feel like a failure. Self-compassion is about recognizing your efforts, progress, and humanity.
I remember missing a major opportunity early in my career. At first, I was hard on myself, replaying what I could’ve done differently. Over time, I learned to shift my focus from self-blame to self-growth. Every setback became a chance to grow stronger and smarter.
Self-compassion doesn’t mean making excuses—it means treating yourself with the same kindness and patience you’d offer a friend.
Tips:
Reframe failures as lessons and reflect on what you’ve gained from them.
Start a journal to track progress and remind yourself of past accomplishments.
Practice positive self-talk—speak to yourself with kindness when things get tough.
➜ I have written more about this in this essay: “How to Become Your Best Friend”
6. Put Perspective on the Outcome
Outcomes, whether good or bad, don’t define your worth. It’s tempting to tie personal value to successes or failures, but this mindset can leave you emotionally vulnerable.
I’ve experienced this firsthand. Landing a major client felt validating at the moment, but I reminded myself it was one step—not the culmination of my journey. Similarly, when things didn’t go well, I learned to see those moments as part of a bigger picture.
Perspective helps you stay balanced. Celebrate wins without inflating your ego, and face losses without punishing yourself.
Tips:
Reflect on past challenges and remind yourself of your resilience.
Focus on your growth and progress rather than singular outcomes.
Separate your worth from your work—success and failure are temporary, but your value isn’t.
➜ I have written more about this in this essay: “The Power of Perspective”
7. Seek Feedback
Sometimes, expectations become distorted when we’re too close to a project. Seeking feedback provides perspective, helping you recalibrate and set more realistic expectations.
Early in my career, I struggled with a strategy that wasn’t delivering results. A mentor’s feedback helped me see the blind spots in my plan and adjust accordingly. The shift not only saved the project but also taught me how valuable external perspectives can be.
Feedback isn’t just about improving your work—it’s about staying grounded and gaining clarity.
Tips:
Build a network of trusted peers, mentors, or coaches to provide honest feedback.
Approach feedback with an open mind, viewing it as an opportunity to grow.
Use feedback to refine your goals and adjust your expectations.
Managing expectations is about taking care of both your plans and your emotions. When we set realistic goals, embrace flexibility, and focus on the process rather than the outcome, we create a more resilient mindset.
Three Key Takeaways:
Success is a journey, not a singular moment. Enjoy the process.
Backup plans and flexibility are your best allies.
Your worth isn’t tied to any one outcome—success or failure.
Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment and share it with friends who may benefit from it.
Sending you good vibes 🌻.
Manuel Saez
great post! resonated with me - it's easy at the start of a project to expect to take over the world - we need that energy to get started, but also need to be realistic to not give up :)