On Seeking Perfection
How Chasing Perfection Kept Me Stuck and What Finally Set Me Free
Hi, I'm Manuel Saez, 2x Founder, Award-Winning Designer, and Emotional Intelligence Coach 🌻 Here I Share the advice I wish I had while building my businesses ➜ I love fixing old motorcycles 🛵🏍️
Perfectionism is Insecurity
My perfectionist self is also my most insecure self.
I used to think perfection was the goal.
The perfect student.
The perfect entreprenur.
The perfect motorcycle build.
If I could just get everything “just right,” then I’d feel… what? At peace? In control? Maybe worthy?
For a while, it worked. I pushed myself hard. And I had the results to show for it. But over time, the cost became clear.
That drive for perfection didn’t come from confidence. It came from fear.
Perfectionism is Fear in Disguise
It took me years to realize that my perfectionism wasn’t a virtue.
It was armor
A way to seek approval. A way to protect myself from judgment. From failure. From not feeling good enough.
But the armor is heavy.
It keeps out the bad stuff, sure. But it also blocks the good. Joy, creativity, connection, and self-acceptance can’t get through when you’re constantly bracing yourself against the world, trying to project an image of you that is “perfect” but inauthentic.
I thought perfectionism was pushing me forward, but it was holding me back.
Now, I’ve traded it for something better: growth, self-love, and simply being myself.
That doesn’t mean I stopped caring or lost my ambition. It just means I learned to stop aiming for flawless and started aiming for being my authentic self.
It turns out that we all are perfect in our own way when we are ourselves.
The Hidden Costs of Perfection
Perfectionism isn’t the pursuit of excellence, it’s the fear of falling short.
And that fear shows up in all kinds of subtle ways:
Procrastinating on a project because it doesn’t feel “ready”
Tearing yourself down over minor mistakes
Holding others to unrealistic standards
Feeling like nothing is ever good enough, even your wins
At first glance, perfectionism looks like high standards. But underneath it, it’s often a deep fear of being seen as inadequate. Not good enough.
I used to think if I got everything perfect, I’d finally feel good, feel competent, and I will get everyone’s respect.
But I learned that no amount of achievement can fix the feeling of not being enough. That has to come from somewhere else.
The Shift to Awareness
What helped me start letting go was becoming more aware of the expectations I was setting for myself and for others.
Awareness doesn’t mean fixing anything. It just means noticing.
Once I started seeing where I was setting unrealistic bars, demanding a flawless design, beating myself up over one off day at the gym, holding my team to impossible timelines.
Awareness helped me pause and ask: Is this actually helping me?
Most of the time, the answer was no. It was just habit. A pattern I learned somewhere along the way. And like most habits, it only had power if I kept running it unconsciously.
With awareness, you have a choice to break away from that pattern.
Practicing Compassion, Even When It’s Uncomfortable
One of the hardest things to do when you’ve spent years chasing perfection is to be gentle with yourself. Especially when you fall short.
Self-compassion isn’t soft. It’s a skill. A muscle you have to build.
For me, it started with giving myself the same grace I’d give a friend. Saying things like:
“You tried your best today, and that’s enough.”
“You don’t need to prove anything right now.”
“It’s okay to rest. You’re still valuable.”
It felt strange at first, almost indulgent. But over time, it started to stick. And when it did, I noticed something important:
When I was kind to myself, I was more open, more resilient, and more creative. I wasn’t performing anymore. I was just showing up as me to do my best at that moment.
The thing is that after a while, I realized that when I was being my “authentic self,” my performance was better than when I was trying to be my “perfect self.”
Mindful Gratitude Changed Everything
Something I didn’t expect is that the more I appreciated the small wins and little achievements, the less I obsessed over what I used to perceive as perfect.
I started a simple practice. At the end of each day, I’d ask myself:
What did I handle well today?
What am I proud of, even if it’s small?
What am I grateful for?
Some days, the answer was big, landing a new project, solving a hard problem. Other days, it was I took a break when I needed it or I made someone laugh.
Over time, that shift changed the way I viewed my work, my relationships, and myself.
Perfectionism trains your brain to scan for what’s broken.
Gratitude rewires it to see what’s working.
The Power of Self-Appreciation
There’s one practice that’s made the biggest difference: learning to talk about myself with appreciation, not judgment.
We’re taught not to brag. And that’s fine. But there’s a difference between arrogance and self-recognition.
So, I started giving myself credit. Not just for the wins, but for the effort.
I reminded myself: I’ve built businesses from nothing. I’ve worked through burnout. I’ve taken risks, failed, and kept going. That counts for something—even when the results aren’t perfect.
When we appreciate the full complexity of our journey, not just the outcomes, we stop needing everything to look polished.
We feel more comfortable in our own skin. And, ironically, that’s when our best work starts to show up.
Letting Go to Move Forward
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Striving for excellence is powerful. But striving for perfection will burn you out.
Perfection says: You’re not good enough unless you’re flawless.
Growth says: You’re worthy even while you’re still becoming.
I still have high standards. I still care deeply about the things I build. But I’m no longer trying to earn my worth through perfect outcomes.
Now, I just want to do meaningful work, be fully myself, and keep getting better along the way.
That’s enough.
Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel
manuelsaez.com