The Confidence Playbook for Founders
Proven Tactics to Overcome Self-Doubt and Lead with Confidence
I'm Manuel Saez, I write to help founders master emotional intelligence to make decisions with clarity and confidence 🌻 EQ coach, 2X-founder & award-winning designer ➜ I love fixing old motorcycles 🛵 🏍
Reading time: 9 min.
Contents:
What We Think, We Become
The Science of Thought
How to Build Self-Confidence
Sometimes, You Just Need to Stop Caring
Rejection is Opportunity
Three Simple Tricks to Build Self-Confidence
Confidence is Built Over Time
As a founder, there were times when I felt unstoppable. Things clicked, I was recognized for my efforts, and I tackled every problem with confidence. I felt like a winner. It was as if every challenge I faced was just a leap away from being conquered.
But, if I'm being honest, those moments were often fleeting. Far more often, I felt like I was spinning my wheels, fighting endless battles—putting out fires, dealing with rejections, and trying to fix products that weren't working.
There were many days when I felt like a failure like all my efforts were going nowhere.
Starting and running a business is tough. Every founder faces constant challenges: deals fall through, customers complain, and unexpected problems pop up daily.
These moments have a way of sticking with you. Over time, the negative thoughts took root, chipping away at my self-confidence. I started doubting myself, even when it came to things I'd handled with ease in the past.
But here's the thing—self-confidence, just like any skill, can be built. And in this essay, I want to share what I've learned about growing and maintaining that confidence, even when things aren't going your way. I hope my experiences can be helpful to you.
What We Think, We Become
One of the most powerful realizations I had was that our thoughts shape our reality. The way we think has a direct impact on how we feel and, ultimately, on the actions we take.
If you take a moment to look back on your life, you might notice certain recurring thoughts. If those thoughts cast you as a victim—"things never go my way," or "I'm not good enough"—it's a strong signal that your thinking needs a reset.
I had to confront this myself. For a long time, I didn't even realize how negative my internal dialogue was or how much it affected my self-confidence. But once I became aware of it, I knew I had to make a change.
When I started intentionally shaping my thoughts and focusing on winning—on things working out in my favor—I noticed that my reality began to shift. (More details on how you do this are below.) Now, this isn't about some magical thinking where everything suddenly goes your way. Instead, it's about training your brain to expect good outcomes and to look for possibilities instead of roadblocks.
By visualizing positive outcomes and expecting success, I gradually stopped approaching situations from a place of fear or doubt. It doesn't mean I never experience setbacks—far from it—but now, my default mindset is one of problem-solving and resilience. And that alone makes a huge difference.
The Science of Thought
There's a scientific basis for all of this. Our brains are wired to create neural pathways based on repeated thoughts. If you've been thinking negatively for years, your brain has developed well-worn paths for those thoughts.
The good news is that our brains are neuroplastic. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life.
This means that, just as your brain has developed negative thought patterns over time, it can also create new, positive pathways with conscious effort and practice.
According to research from the National Institute of Health, neuroplasticity is a fundamental brain property that allows it to change in response to experience, learning, and environmental factors. New neural pathways require awareness and intentional effort.
The first step is recognizing when you fall into old, negative thought patterns. Once you're aware, you can actively challenge and replace those thoughts with more positive and empowering ones.
This doesn't happen overnight, but the more you practice, the stronger the new pathways become. Over time, these positive thought patterns become your brain's new default mode.
In my experience, this has been a game-changer. When I became more intentional about focusing on positive outcomes and possibilities, my confidence started to grow. As I practiced replacing my old thought patterns, I noticed that my brain began to naturally lean toward optimism and resilience, even in challenging situations.
How to Build Self-Confidence
How do you start rewiring your brain to think more positively? It begins with awareness.
That meant learning to recognize those moments when my mind spiraled into negative thinking.
One technique I use to guide my thoughts is to observe my mind as if part of me could step back and watch the other part think.
It was a powerful shift because I realized I had a choice in that moment of awareness. I didn't have to accept the negative thoughts as reality. I could challenge it.
One simple trick I found incredibly effective was asking myself, "What if the opposite is true?" It sounds almost too easy, but it works.
For example, if my mind was telling me, "It’s not going to work because…." I'd pause and ask, "What if this happens? This could work, or if this also happens, it would be even better…" This single question opened up new possibilities.
Instead of seeing one narrow, negative path, I started recognizing the potential for many positive outcomes.
And here's the thing: by entertaining that possibility, I didn't just start feeling better; I started to act differently. Optimism has a way of expanding your mental horizons, making room for solutions you hadn't considered before. You start approaching challenges with a sense of curiosity rather than fear.
It's important to remember that this practice is ongoing. There are still days when my old thought patterns resurface, especially when things aren't going well. But now, I'm better equipped to handle them. I've trained my brain to ask, "What if this works out?" And that question alone can change everything.
Building self-confidence is less about waking up one day and suddenly feeling great—it's about consistently shifting your mindset little by little until one day, those positive thoughts become your new default.
Sometimes, You Just Need to Stop Caring
I learned that self-confidence grows when you stop caring about what others think.
As founders, it's easy to get caught up in other people's opinions—whether they come from investors, clients, or even team members.
When that happens, we start losing touch with our own judgment, and the pressure to meet external expectations can feel overwhelming.
I have fallen into this trap many times. Whether I was trying to meet investor demands or worrying about a client's reaction, I found myself placing too much value on what others thought of me and not enough on my own perspective.
No matter how hard you try, you can't control what others think or feel.
That doesn't mean you shouldn't care—you want to do good work. But there's a balance. Caring enough to deliver your best is important, but caring so much that other people's opinions dictate your actions can be detrimental.
Once I found that balance, I noticed my confidence started to grow. I began making decisions based on what I knew was right for the business rather than trying to meet everyone's expectations.
Yes, seek advice and listen to feedback, but don't let it control you. The key is to care enough to do your best without allowing others' opinions to hold you back. You become more resilient when you stop worrying so much about rejection or failure.
Rejection is Opportunity
Rejection used to hit me hard. Sometimes, we couldn't close a client, or fundraising didn't pan out, even with strong numbers and traction. It drained me, especially when I believed I had the perfect solution or product.
When rejection happens repeatedly, it can feel like it chips away at your confidence, burning a hole in your soul.
I used to take every rejection personally as if it reflected my worth as a founder. But over time, I realized I was giving too much power to external validation.
When you place so much weight on every deal or investor meeting, it feels like a make-or-break moment. If things don't work out, it's a huge emotional blow.
The key shift came when I stopped seeing rejection as the end and started viewing it as part of the process—a step toward something better. Each "no" brought me closer to the right "yes."
This mindset shift helped me regain control. I no longer saw rejection as a personal failure but as a valuable feedback.
Changing how I viewed rejection made me more resilient. Instead of seeking approval from others, I focused on what I could control—my effort, my approach, and what I learned from each experience.
Every founder, even the most successful ones, has faced more rejection than they care to admit. The difference is in how they respond.
Three Simple Tricks to Build Self-Confidence
These three strategies have helped me build and maintain my self-confidence over the years:
1. Count Your Blessings
Gratitude is a powerful tool. Even on my worst days, focusing on what I was thankful for shifted my mindset.
I started keeping a gratitude journal, noting small things I appreciated—the taste of my morning coffee, the warmth of my bed, or my dog greeting me when I got home.
These little moments of joy helped me realize that, even in tough times, there was still a lot to be thankful for.
Tip: Try starting or ending your day by writing down three things you're grateful for. It's a simple practice, but it can help rewire your brain to look for the good in every situation.
2. Celebrate Small Wins
Success isn't just about the big, flashy moments. It's the small daily victories that fuel us.
I began paying attention to the little wins—solving a minor problem, getting feedback, or moving a project forward.
When you're in a positive mindset, you'll notice small wins everywhere. These daily victories are like bricks; when stacked, they can build a castle.
Celebrating these small wins helped me maintain momentum; they created more significant success over time.
Tip: Make it a habit to acknowledge one small win each day. It could be as simple as completing a task that moved your project forward or solving a minor problem.
3. Make a List of Why You're Awesome
When self-doubt creeps in, it's easy to forget your worth. I started making a list of things I'm proud of—big accomplishments and smaller, hard-earned personal victories.
It might feel a little self-indulgent, but when you're feeling down, reminding yourself of what you've already overcome can restore your confidence.
Sometimes, you need to give yourself a pat on the back, especially when no one else is doing it.
Tip: Keep your list somewhere you can easily access it. Whenever you hit a low point, revisit it.
Confidence is Built Over Time
Building self-confidence as a founder isn't about always feeling on top of the world. It's about forming habits that help you stay resilient through the ups and downs—just like practicing a sport or learning an instrument. Mastery comes with time and repetition.
Here are the three key takeaways to help you on that journey:
Train your mind to expect positive outcomes: Developing the habit of focusing on potential success rather than failure can reshape how you approach challenges.
Care less about others' opinions: Balance is key. While feedback is valuable, your confidence should be grounded in your own judgment, not others' validation.
See rejection as part of the process: Reframe rejection as a stepping stone rather than a dead end, using it as feedback to refine your approach and grow stronger.
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Sending you good vibes 🌻
Manuel Saez